Cognibots
by Spectral-Aspen
Summary: Complete crack fic. Was reading about combiners and thought it'd be hilarious if there was an all femme combiner. Femmes are all OCs, didn't want to destroy any cannon characters. Details on their names at end.


_[1417]_

_Disclaimer: _Don't own Transformers, however, the Cognibots are my crackalicious combiners. No stealy!

* * *

**Audia**

"You can't be serious!" I want to knock that damn smirk right off his faceplates!

"Of course I am! You're a gestalt! I merely asked to see you all in your combined form!"

I hate you, Sideswipe. "No."

He seems undeterred by my cold answer, "Why not?"

I respond without thinking, "It's embarrassing!"

Now he look far more intrigued than before, "Embarrassing?"

Don't ask any further, please, "Yes!"

Slag. He's going to ask. "How so?"

How do I answer in a way that makes sense? "We're an all femme-combiner team! Our femme-li-ness is exponentially increased when we combine!"

Now he looks confused. Idiot. "... That's a bad thing?"

Of course it is! "YES!"

Now he just looks pathetic. "But... please?"

I barely contain a wince as my gestalt-mates walk in, already knowing what I'm furious about via our bond. "No."

Somata slings an arm around my shoulders, his cheerful smile compounding my already dark mood, "Aww, come on Aud! It can't possibly be as bad as it was last time!"

She had to bring that up. "Shut it Som."

Gusta sighs, "She's right you know."

No, she's most definitely not! "Not you too Gus!"

Optica looks at me with exasperation, "It's not like there aren't other combiners here, Aud."

They can be so thick sometimes. "That's what I'm worried about, Opti."

I can tell the moment they understand, "...Oh. Right."

My sense of triumph isn't damaged at all, despite the now extremely confused look Sideswipe is giving me that most definitely isn't making me feel a tiny bit guilty. "Yeah, right. Now you get the problem?" No guilt at all.

Somata looks dejected, "Yeah."

Gusta frowns, "Slag."

Optica's expression is comical, and I can tell she's imagining a few of the many possible outcomes, "Oh dear."

"Come on! It can't be that bad!" Sideswipe cringes under our four glares, but I feel Olfacta giving in.

"He... they... won't let up until we do you know," she says resignedly.

I can't stop my servos from twitching, just imagining the effort it will take to keep from strangling the next mech to ask us to combine. Is it worth the embarrassment that will undoubtedly result?

Sideswipe looks at us pleadingly, blissfully ignorant of what he's asking us to do.

I can tell the moment we all decide to just do it and get it over with.

I glare at Sideswipe, "Fine, we'll do it," I snarl at him, barely managing to keep from shoving him out of the way as I stalk towards the Ark's entrance. "Tell everyone that wants to see it to get their afts outside, 'cause we're not doing this again. Got it?" He looks stunned for a moment, but I turn around before I can see what he does, silently furious that I've conceded to this.

{Somata} Come on Audia, lighten up! This will at least be entertaining.

{Audia} No. It will be humiliating! You know what happens when we combine! We'll be dealing with the fallout of this for vorns!

{Optica} That may be, but this way they won't be almost constantly pestering us as they have since they learned we are a gestalt.

My visor flashes as I step out of the relatively dark halls of the Ark into the brilliant sunlight. There is quite a crowd forming a ways from the Ark, and I heave a great sigh as the knowledge of what er're about to do sinks in.

"Come on now," I turn to see Sideswipe standing just behind me, optics showing concern, "it's not like we're going to make fun of you or anything. Combiners are awesome, and you could dropkick us into space if we made you mad enough." His attempt at humour fails to make me feel any better.

"Yes, but I am more concerned about what Sensoral will do to you lot, and what the repercussions for such actions will be."

He looks worried.

Finally.

"The Aerialbots said they'll be together as Superion, to make you feel better."

I have to fight to keep from groaning out loud.

Definitely _not _better.

Very, very _not better!_

I vaguely hear Optimus from where he stands at the head of the Autobots milling around, telling the Aerialbots to combine.

It can't be helped now.

"Might as well get this over with," I mutter, refusing to look at Sideswipe and striding away from the Ark towards the crowd of Autobots.

Optica, Somata, Gusta, and Olfacta all stride alongside me, and we stop a short ways away from the group of Autobots. Sideswipe trots past us to stand next to Sunstreaker a little off to the side. I turn to see Superion standing next to us, and he nods respectfully before backing up a bit.

My gestalt-mates and I all exchange a look before initiating the combining sequence. I form the head and torso; Somata and Optica for the left and right arms and wings respectively; and Gusta and Olfacta form the legs. We hardly take a moment to synch with each other, our thoughts instantly merging to form Sensoral.

**Sensoral**

A quick pause assesses our appearance. Paint? Flawless. Figure? Voluptuous, as always. Wings? Angled perfectly to draw attention to our beautiful faceplates and slim frame.

We take a look around at the Autobots gathered before us, their pretty colours distracting us for a moment. They're so shiny, and _oh! _The pretty golden mech has the nicest paint! We crouch down to admire him better, and he stares back at us, icy blue optics contrasting wonderfully with his golden armour, despite the obvious confusion in them. Then the ruby mech next to him moves, and the light dances across his shiny armour in a beautiful pattern.

A mech clears his voice box, the quiet noise echoing around the quiet clearing. We turn to see a kind looking mech staring at us expectantly. He has a battle mask covering the lower half of his faceplates, and as he shifts the light plays off of the numerous scratches marring its surface. Then the mech speaks, and his voice, _Primus his voice,_ dances across our audials and resonates wonderfully along our entire frame.

"Would you like to introduce yourself, good femme?"

Oh, he has such nice manners. We stand and take the step required to stand before the mech-with-the-beautiful-voice. "Our designation is Sensoral, combined form of the Cognibots" we say coyly, matching certain frequencies of our voice to mimic the resonance of this mech's, while still keeping it distinctly feminine. He looks startled, and we can detect several of the mech's frame's temperatures increasing as our voice flows over them.

It's always a delight, playing with mechs.

Then something larger than us moves, the movement disturbing the air and sending delightful shivers down our wings.

We turn to see Superion standing behind us, his beautiful colours and handsome frame rapidly gaining our undivided attention. His size helps quite a bit, we've met few mechs as large as us while we we're combined.

"Hello there big guy," We say, the words coming out as a sensuous purr. It's undeniably sexy how Superion reacts, his expression going from curious to flabbergasted in less than a click. It's so _cute!_ "What's a mech like you doing here?" We ask, quickly, but not _too _quickly, eliminating the distance between us in a few lithe strides.

The poor combiner doesn't look like he knows what to do as we come to stand before him, resting our weight on one leg and tilting our hips at a flattering angle. It's beyond adorable, really, how confused he is.

The sound of muffled laughing causes us to pause, and in that brief pause our thoughts and sparks desynchronize and we break into our separate parts, managing to keep from hitting Superion as we fall to the ground.

**Audia**

It takes a moment, but I manage to regain my senses without too much difficulty, then, as I look around at the Autobots gathered around us in bewilderment, I realize what just happened. My servos go to my helm and I turn to look up at the figure towering above us in horror.

"Primus above, we just _came onto Superion!"_

* * *

name in my story-word it is based off of=meaning of that word

Cognibots-cognition=perception

Sensoral-sensual/sensory=of or pertaining to the senses

Audia-Audial=of or pertaining to the sense of hearing

Optica-Optical=of or pertaining to sight or vision

Gusta-Gustatory=of or pertaining to taste

Olfacta-Olfactory=of or pertaining to the sense of small

Somata-Somatic=of the body; physical (touch)

all coutesy of dictionary .com

**Thoughts? Anyone?**


End file.
